Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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