i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
