The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
