he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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