this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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