He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
