i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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