omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize