I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
