Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
