Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Are we still banned from the library?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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