Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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