She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
