I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
No subtext here. People are naked.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
