you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
