i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
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I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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