Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
