Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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