i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
