he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
