Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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