do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
