32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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