My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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