There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think your dad took our porno
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
