Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
