what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
