I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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