I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
