And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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