There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He shit in the fireplace
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
