I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
