last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i now understand why vodka
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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