If i could tip my vagina, i would.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
