Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
