the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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