I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
