I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
