Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
