why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
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i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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