I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
