Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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