Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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