she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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