i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
