Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
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Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
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His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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