Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just want to make out with him forever
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
