tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
