your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
