I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
