My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize