His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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