Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Michael Bay diarrhea
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
