he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
