so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
MIDGETS
????
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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