3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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