i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
