it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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